The other day I was reading through blog posts from my disordered eating days. It was hard to ignore the tremendous amount of guilt and shame I had for consuming one of my favorite treats- chocolate.
As I read through those writings, I was transported back. Transported to the feelings of isolation and loneliness. Transported back to the toxic relationship and unfulfilling job. Transported back to feeling as if my life was out of control.
The rigidity and rules I created around chocolate backfired to the point I no longer enjoyed it without feeling instantaneous shame.
I wrote about chocolate a lot during that time (14 times to be exact). I wrote about ways I was distracting myself from thinking about eating chocolate (by publishing 14 blog posts about it), ways to consume “enough” but not “too much” chocolate, ways to substitute chocolate with foods that were not chocolate, the list goes on and on.
You see, the mental and physical deprivation led me to feel out of control at the sight of chocolate.
The freeing thing about being an Intuitive Eater is that I am now able to enjoy food for it is- food. I’m able to do this because I have made peace with food.
The crazy thing is- when you give yourself unconditional permission to eat the foods that held so much power over you may begin to realize it wasn’t about the food.
Making peace with food to me meant seeking out professional therapy to help guide me through feelings of isolation and loneliness. It meant saying goodbye to a relationship that was unhealthy. It meant leaving a job to pursue my passion.
Krystal Dunham, MS, RDN, LD, is an award-winning licensed and registered dietitian nutritionist based in Tulsa. A former NCAA Division II soccer player for Southwestern Oklahoma State University (Go Dawgs!), Krystal’s journey in nutrition has been both dynamic and impactful. She earned her Master’s in Nutrition and Food Science from The University of Central Oklahoma while completing her Dietetic Internship. A Returned Peace Corps Volunteer, Krystal brings a global perspective to her practice. She specializes in helping individuals heal their relationship with food while managing chronic health conditions, offering compassionate and evidence-based support.
Krystal Dunham, MS, RDN, LD
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